It’s so much easier to be negative than it is to be positive…it’s just easier to see the “why me” in every situation instead of swallowing your pride and taking responsibility for your life. When you’re beginning your positive life it feels like you’re struggling to find a positive spin on life’s little mishaps while still being conditioned to believe that there isn’t one. Trust me. I know. This was my life.
In 2008 my grandma and sister were in a car accident in NY- a cement truck ran a light and sideswiped the car they were traveling in to visit my grandfather’s grave. My grandma’s airbag didn’t deploy and within 2 months she with in hospice with a TBI and just like that, she was gone. Thankfully my sister survived and while she still struggles with a few brain injury related issues she’s healthy and happy today. After this, nothing really made any sense to me. I pinpoint that time in my life as the reason I fell apart emotionally and even now, writing about it makes me cry. I used to believe that everything happens for a reason and when my grandmother, a sweet and generous and HEALTHY woman was taken from this earth I threw it all to the wind. Life was shit, you walk around vulnerable and waiting to die so why bother thinking any differently? My grandmother is the very reason i’m a photographer today.
My life was a series of ups and downs at that point with simple joys that never lasted long because I always found a reason why I shouldn’t enjoy them if “they’re just going to be short lived anyway”. I fought with my husband a lot, never had good friends for too long and was just generally unhappy. I didn’t care.
Fast forward to 2012- September…a good friend, having been sick a LOT, feeling run down and despite thinking that it was just stressed from work he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with an aggressive form of Leukemia. He was admitted and started treatment right away. Despite the doctor’s best efforts he passed away in January, just 3.5 months after being diagnosed. He was one of the kindest most generous men i’ve ever met in my life. He was the first one to show up if you needed help, even one time calling me to say he’d leave the In n Out drive through to come and help us out if we needed at 12am. So why did he have to die?
When my daughter was 6 weeks old my husband was unexpectedly laid off from his job…the main income in our lives was gone, just like that. For 19 months my husband worked on projects and tried to start up a business but instead slipped into a depression…he would sleep all day and be awake all night and I was left with an 18.5 month old and a newborn to raise. I kept asking, why is this happening to me? Haven’t I gone through enough? Why can’t he just get a job? I didn’t understand, I was angry and hurt and devastated…I was stressed and overwhelmed and confused. I didn’t know what to do.
In 2016 I made the conscious effort to change my life and my view of the world. It was baby steps for me and it wasn’t until 2017 that I implemented some tricks that seem small but practiced together they’re the most powerful thing in the world.
- LOVE YOURSELF FIRST- seriously…you can’t pour from an empty cup. There is a reason they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before you help anyone else out. Without you at your best how will you help others to be THEIR best?
- LIVE FOR TODAY– what is behind you is behind you for a reason. And in the same respect, if you’re always worried about how you’re going to survive tomorrow you’ll stress yourself out and you’ll be off balance. It WILL work itself out!
- LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN EVERYONE– This one was hard for me because I was always “you’ll have to earn my trust” and now that i’ve changed that around i’ve learned to recognize when someone isn’t right for MY life and my journey- it’s freeing.
- DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK– Remember, it’s your brain’s job to stop you from doing something “scary” or “unpredictable”…you can change that by learning to listen to only what will help you live a better life, sometimes the best shit comes when you’re scared!
- GIVE BACK– This is a big one, it makes you feel amazing when you can make someone else feel amazing- it’s a beautiful circle of positivity! Write a card, visit a friend, meet for coffee, help someone move, give someone an unexpected gift- possibilities are endless!
- LEARN TO SAY NO– If you’re a people pleaser like me this one is tough…say no to the things that won’t serve you in the long run no matter how hard it is. Saying no leaves room for the things you need to say yes to!
- EXPECT GOOD THINGS– Replace “if” with “WHEN” and watch the universe give you what you’re expecting. Live as if you already have everything you want and it will manifest, believe me…it works.
- SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE– This is HUGE. Other people’s moods and attitudes have a huge amount of power in your life- the good thing is you have the power to keep only those that will lift you up around you- it makes a HUGE difference.
- STOP MAKING EXCUSES– You’re the one in control of your life. You’re the one in control of your actions, your finances, your health…start treating your life like it’s the only one you have and you’ll live a better life.
- LOOK FOR BEAUTY EVERYWHERE– I have a slight advantage on this one because it’s literally my job to see beauty in everything. I can’t explain how wonderful it is to be able to see something good in everything, if you try really hard there is always SOMETHING.
There are so many amazing things you can do to improve your life- positive thoughts build positive lives! LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE without regrets! Trust me, you will see everything in a whole new way!